Lawyers Jokes

I have practiced law for 30 years, and thought I had heard all the jokes until I googled “lawyer jokes”.  Visiting a law school classmate caused me to reflect upon this familiar resentment.  Lawyers are too familiar to joke about our foibles or the painful failures of our legal system.  That is not what we think about in repose.  Admittedly, my friend and I are no longer sharp young lawyers, eager to draw blood.  We have billed hundreds of thousands of hours, and have suffered the rough edges to be worn down.  We are at peace with ourselves, even if others are not.  Lawyer jokes demand an audience.  Mumbled requests for advice come alone.  I forgive the squirming comic and maybe help.  North Carolina’s law license says Attorney and Counsellor at Law.   We value the opportunity to deliver wise counsel.  It is satisfying to help one who needs the stock in trade I have to offer.  Lawyers know stuff.  We have learned a lot, mostly from other people’s mistakes.  Is this the source of resentment?  Years ago, a client turned ugly in the parking lot, when he saw my shiny Lincoln.  So that is what I am paying for!  No, leveling my voice.  You are paying a divorce lawyer because you want to leave your wife.  I am happily married, and bought a new car.  He left well represented, but resentful.  Today, I had lobbying chores waiting, but instead drafted a separation agreement for the son of friends.  Scared, poor, and devastated, the boy recently finished paying for his wife’s college degree & nursing license.  Now she wants his beat up old truck out of her driveway.  Yes, there is a hotter pickup idling around the block, waiting to take his place.   He needed advice based on more than sentiment.  We prayed, and my husband spoke words of hope and comfort.  Then I wrote an agreement to defeat snares set by his erstwhile wife and hyper involved mother-in-law.  His eyes widened as I explained his property rights, financial liabilities, and why he needed the paperwork signed before he moved out.   He departed with tears in his eyes, but legally armed.  Joke, if you care to, but I have had a good day.

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3 Responses to “Lawyers Jokes”

  1. Jack Moore Says:

    Everyone loves to hate lawyers until they need one.

    I think the bad rap is summed up in the old joke.

    Q. What is lower than a lawyer.
    A. A lawyer who couldn’t make it and turned to politics for easier pinkin’s.

  2. Paula C. Quinn Says:

    Henri, in responding collectively to your blog, you tell it like you’ve experienced it in a concise, transparent and deeply informative venue. I view each as a finely woven fabric of your personal values, faith, character and vocation. I look forward to more of your thoughts. Remember, Gail Sheehy said, “To be tested is good. The challenged life may be the best therapist.” Thank you for causing me to probe deeper.

  3. Esther Owens Says:

    There will forever exist those who choose to make jokes about lawyers; but lawyers have prevailed countless times to save the day for their clients. I think everyone should judge by the character of the lawyer rather than the title they hold. If this is done… they’ll get to see past the title and see “not all lawyers deserve a bad rap. Henri your writings are very good and thought provoking! I look forward to seeing more.

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